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Stacy and Keith ! Dec. 7th, 2005 @ 05:56 am
WEll.......After 8 years it has finally happened ! We are finally together ! I promised him this time that Im not going ANYWHERE, and he promised the same. Yay=) My happiness about our relationship is genuine. I have never felt so calm about something. This is very special to me. Well Ive always wanted to be with someone that knew me, and someone thats truly my friend. Anyway, things are going to be taken slowly which is perfect. I have never taken anything this slow before, its great. Hell its taken 8 years so why rush it now? Although, he did tell me that he loved me. I already knew that though. He knows the same, it doesnt even have to be said. Everything has happened so perfectly. Our parents think we slept together, which is hilarious. Not until we are married. Crazyness. Man we have both JUST ABOUT got another deal. My guys coming tomorrow. Went to court today=( Sucked, didnt get to testify so I have to be back in the morning. My car got hit and the insurance man is coming by tomorrow and Im not going to be there. Sucks. Oh well, I have had a horrible past few days but at the same time they were great. Parents think Im addicted to drugs. Errr Wes makes me sick. SOOOOOOO sick. J E R K ! ! ! ! ! ! Well its time to watch Roseanne and go to bed.
Current Mood: lazylazy
Current Music: We were meant to live for so much more

Brat Attack sorry Nov. 27th, 2005 @ 07:36 am
I am emotional right now. I feel happy, sad, loved, discouraged, unwanted, confused and interested. Also bored. Man I slept away Thanksgiving. I spent it with momma, daddy and keiths family. Funny that Ive always liked hanging with his family. I have learned a lot from these 10 thousand relationships that I have been in and omg I am catching the things I do that screw them up in my mind. Giving in sometimes and not being a brat. OMG I am such a brat, Im so glad Im just now realizing it. Its not them its me !I caught myself acting weird tonight, and I now know why. Im selfish. He wanted to go to the movies and I wanted to play chess=( We always play chess so I dontknow why I was feeling all bratty about it. He wanted to go home before 4 in the morning. Of course to wake up and go to church, in fact Im going also. I pulled a brat attack again and started acting pouty b/c I didnt want to go home yet. I sat there trying to think of who is still out that I could hang out with. Knowing good and well there was nothing I could possibly do at 12:30. I was like aww hes sick of me lol. Dumb ass dummy I am. I am going to stop this shit before I ruin something with a friend that I have had almost as long as Lacey. Man, I dont know what we are getting ourselves into. I hope to God that this works out. This is the biggest risk I have ever taken. Im risking breaking his heart......again, Im risking my future in this business venture we are all in. Im also risking a friendship that has always been important to me. Thats enough to scare the shit out of someone and Im sure he feels the same. Actually Im not scared b/c I have always wanted him, but back then when we were together it was so different. I'll have to say I have never been in a relationship with someone that has been one of the best friends to me. Someone I know just about everything about and vise versa. This is really special to me, so I am going to give it my all. Something that I have NEVER done. This is also moving at a turtles pace, something else that hasnt been done. Oh yes, also I will not obsess either! Yay Stacy has it figured out!
Current Mood: contentcontent

Yuck Nov. 22nd, 2005 @ 07:15 am
Can I get a big what the fuck. Ive been feeling very strange today. I hate when I make decisions and then wonder if Ive made the right ones. I guess when you do that all you can do is follow your gut feeling and go with it. I had a gut feeling with Wes, but Im so sad about the way everything happened. I have been meaning to call him, he keeps text messaging me asking if Im ok. Thought I would give it a few days. I mean damn its only been a week, am I being mean I wonder. I hope not, I really care about him but I just knew it would never work out as sad as it was. Theres no way I would be happy with the things he does and his outlook on life. Also theres no way I could be with him and work with Keith everyday. It was so much conflict, but there were just so many reasons. He even said so himself that it would never work. Life is just so fucked up in so many ways. Man Ive gotta get myself back on track, slipped away for a minute. Ive got to remember why we cant be together so that I dont beat myself up about it. Damn couldnt even watch tv with him without getting mad. Stop it Stacy.......I just feel weird. It will pass though......
Current Mood: weirdweird

It came to an end........ Nov. 16th, 2005 @ 06:08 pm
Being happily engaged and being infatuated with the thought of it are 2 different things. I had to end it. I loved him to death but it would have never worked. We came to find that we were so different and that we wanted so many different things out of life that the other couldnt offer. I would have never of made him completely happy, and he desearves more than that. The same with me. We were both upset that we let it get that far to find out that it wasnt going to work. Although Im happier now and I know more about myself than I ever have or ever thought I could. I know exactly what I want, this is the last time I will go through a break up. I am so confident in that. I have never had this much confidence in my life, everything is falling into place. I never would have believed that I would be this sure of myself. Everyone has been so upset, about the engagement and now us splitting up. Nobody wanted it to happen and now all of a sudden people are pissed. I can see the future now, its all layed out nice and neat for me and thats the way I have always wanted it. Im so happy, truly happy b/c I know what I want out of who Im going to be with and what I want out of life in general. Not saying its going to be hard but having a path to follow sure makes it easier. My parents will just have to get over it b/c in the long run they will be just as happy as I.
Current Mood: contentcontent

He gave me the ring !!! Oct. 19th, 2005 @ 09:50 pm
OMG Wes proposed to me!! Awwwwwwwwwwwww, yay ! The ring is so beautiful. Im so happy, Ive never been so happy in my entire life. I was freaked out until everyone found out and now that everyone knows I am soooooooo happy. I love him so much =) OMG Ive never loved anybody this much, nobody has ever cared about me the way he does. He understands me and that means more in the world. Weve had some hard times in the past few weeks and he stuck through it with me. I figured he would have been gone after all of that. Lol hes gotta love me. I will never doubt that. I will never forget the first time I saw him.....Awwwww he was singing at Holli's wedding. Hes so gorgeous. So sweet, so smart, so goofy, so perfect. Im so in love=)Ive always wanted to know who it was gonna be, Im so thankful its him. I couldnt ask for more. He is my dream. Wow so much has happened lately. I quit the carwash, me and deborah got into it, well kinda she got into it with herself and I walked out. I started working for the real estate company way earlier than I thought. I love it there omg. Its like going to school and working at the same time, its actually fun. I go there and Im not wishing the time by b/c Im happy to be there. Everything is so perfect right now, I think this is the best time of my life =)
Current Mood: contentcontent
Other entries
» Aww Wes
Tonight Wes snapped me out of the horrible depression. I dont know what he did but thank God. I actually feel feelings again, I feel alive again. I think a lot of this has to do with the cancer shit. For the past few weeks I have been waking up at night sweating and freezing to death. It has been doing it all the time, sleep or awake. When I get it taken out and this stuff doesnt go away then I know something else is wrong. Thank you Wes =) I am so lucky to have him.
» I need a new JOBBBBBBBBBBB
Damn work, Ive got to get another job. Ive got leads from about 20 good paying places close to home so maybe that will happen before the end of november. I wanna work at the deaf and blind school. Im gonna deep down HATE leaving George and them, Im probably going to cry and cry. Its going to be really depressing but my dumbass has a 400 dollar a month car payment with 175 insurance and 400 in other bills a month. Thats WAY too much money to be tryin to budget some paychecks with. Errr its my own fault but I LOVE my car, its so hot. I got the windows blacked out yay. Anyway, its depressing but I have to move on to more money. I wish money wasnt so important. Well Ive got my lovely little precancer stuff that has to be cut out. Im so excited I get to go to bham to have surgery. No Im not really excited Im pissed off and scared to death b/c they know that much but what I dont know is how bad the stuff is b/c I havent received all of the test results yet. Well on the bright side I can get the hell away from the carwash for a while and I'll get a hella stock of pain pills. Wes was so upset =( Its probably b/c hes had to go through something worst with his tumors. AWww I love him so much. Thats so depressing though really. I get so scared when I think that hes had cancer twice. If we ever have kids I hope they arent like us with all of the cancer shit. OMG momma just came in here and said there had to of been something that triggered cancer cells in me. Hello fucking cigarettes I bet. I was quitting anyway. Ive smoked 2 and a half in 3 days so its gonna work. Blah anyway.
» Its been awhile
Damn I havent been online in so long. I guess Im gonna get on and talk about some good stuff and bad stuff. Good news, Wes's band is getting a record deal in Canada lol but weve gotta move to Canada in a year or so. I think thats awesome. They said they would get us a studio apartment and pay off all of our bills and pay our bills. Wow thats the SHIT ! Gettin the eclipse paid off !!! I wonder if they know how many bills we have. Maybe we should go make some more bills before we go lol . Bad news is that I went to the doctor for a urinary tract infection and got tested and all this crap and a week later I get a call saying that its possible that I have cancer or precancer. Lovely to hear. I was hysterical and decided to stay out of work and I cried all day. So now Ive gotta go get all of these weird tests done and Im probably going to have to have surgery to get it taken out. Ughhhhhhhhhhh. Well Wes has almost got my ring payed off, yay ! Lacey broke up with Jennifer, its about damn time. Work still is boring and Im becoming a mega bitch. Everyone there hates me but like 3 people and the owners lol. Thats what we were all aiming for, well now we have it. I have done fired people and made scenes all over the place. Awww I have become a manager. How sweet. I dont like it. Always thought Id like having authority over peoples jobs but it makes me feel bad. I need to wait until Im more rational before I fire people. I just hate sorry asses. Yay were going to be canadians!Well goin to bed.
» Carwash Idiot
OMG we all had it out today, wtf is up with letting 15 year olds come into work at 7 and get a lunch at 4! I won the war this time damnit thats some bullshit and something had to be done about it. Daniels going over to Wes's and theyre going to drink beer. Blah blah blah. Boring. Good thing I didnt want to do anything at this point in time, I did wanna do somethin but I had rather do it alone anyway. Kinda wanna drive up to bham to see lacey. Instead I will contemplate how Im gonna make some $$$ to blow. The excitement is eating me alive. Whohoo. I think my Wes has more of a spending problem that I do. Last night he went crazy and bought everything that he saw he wanted and took us out and whatever and now hes like weve gotta stay home tonight =(Errr I finally feel better and I wanna go somewhere. Ive been sick and had a tooth pulled =( Ouch. Ben called the other day, he gotta Audi TT and I went to see it and he threw me the keys. I was like hell yeah ! I drove it, it was weird compared to mine so I let him drive mine. My clutch is a lot harder than his, it was hard to drive. Eh anyway it was good to see him again, I told him about Wes. He asked me to go see a movie with him and I was like uhhhh nuh uh my Wes. Guess Im gonna get started on my saturday night adventure. Blah
» Stupid Tooth
My mouth is swollen up and Im sick. Errr damn the devil. I have ate more lorocets than I ever have in my life. I went to the doctor after getting killed at the dentist and I got really depressed b/c I didnt feel good. I called Wes crying and I dont even know why I was so upset. Omg I miss him so bad. This day sucks. Im not going to work tomorrow and Im really not happy about it. I dont trust anybody there when Im not there. George isnt gonna be there either so my shop is fucked. Omg how can they say that a teacher raped a student, a woman teacher. It makes no sense b/c wouldnt you think the guy would have to be willing for her to rape him. If his "stuff" isnt up then theres no way she could rape him! Ugh dumbass people. Bored bored bored =(
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